Choices

February 11, 2010

Recently there has been a lot of choosing going on in people’s lives. A number of people are making decisions to change their lives: quit their jobs, go back to school, end a relationship, start a business, change locations, get help to take it to the next level, help others, deepen a relationship, and on and on. Do you ever notice that as soon as you make a choice, especially a big choice, even if it is just an internal voice inside you, everything around you starts to change?  The universe opens up possibilities, forces conclusions and creates momentum towards that choice. Sometimes it feels like a miracle. Sometimes it is overwhelming and not that pleasant, which may indicate you wavered a tad too long over making that choice, and the universe started to choose for you, and, not in the way you would like it.

People waver because there is often a great deal of mental anguish leading up to that decision. There is a careful weighing in of all the ramifications, a letting go of fears for security and familiarity, and a dread of facing individuals for perhaps an unpleasant encounter. How can we make these decisions less painful? One way is to have a good sounding board of someone who is not invested in your decision one way or the other. To appeal to your logical side, a good old pros and cons list can help. But, also listen to what your heart, soul and even your body is telling you. Do you tense up a little too much at the idea of returning to school? Sometimes it takes quite a lot of listening to all the sides of yourself consciously to find the best next step.  And it is the next step you are looking for, not necessarily your whole future, forever and ever. Relieve the anxiety by understanding which things may be reversible, and which are not. Telling someone that you want a divorce, for example, is pretty irreversible, but telling them you want to talk about how you are not happy is maybe a better choice, with more possibilities. When you have collected ALL the data from your brain, your gut, your heart, your happy soul and everywhere else, the next step (not the “right” decision) will become more obvious and you will hear that magical little voice in your head make the decision, and the universe will respond.